Big-brand toilet papers are getting behind the marketing trend to eliminate euphemistic niceties.
Kimberly-Clark raised the bar -- or lowered the seat, depending how you look at it -- by promising that its Cottonelle brand cares more about your posterior than its competitors. The company launched its Be Kind to Your Behind campaign with an announcement claiming that 94 percent of all Americans "dish out kindness everywhere but their behinds."
No, I don't know what it means to dish out kindness to your behind. I don't write this stuff.
A USA Today story suggests that the plain-speak is a result of consumers being more open to "frank advertising about bodily functions."
This has been going on for a while. Remember when Viagra television ads made people uncomfortable, especially if the children were watching? Today the whole family just assumes that you're supposed to consult a physician if your erection lasts four hours or more.
More importantly, "bathroom tissue" campaigns like these are designed to keep everyday products from becoming so commoditized that brands don't matter. This is a real challenge in the age of inexpensive generics and warehouse stores. Americans spend more than three billion dollars a year on toilet paper -- not even including Wal-Mart, which keeps its number two business to itself. The more that major labels like Cottonelle and Charmin can keep people interested with events, dancing toilets, traveling promotions, puppies, sweepstakes, fan sites and free expert butt-fitness advice, the better chance they have at not becoming irrelevant.
As Brand Autopsy's John Moore put it, America's toilet paper wars prove that there are no such thing as boring product categories, just boring products.
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